The One About the Baby

Brace yourselves. This whole post is going to be about…Bosco.

As you may have suspected upon reading the title, this post is being authored by me, Jasmine. As Rob has taken up both golfing and a video project (which he hopes to feature on the next blog) this week, it is left to me to fill you in about Bosco’s doings. While I love my husband’s posts, I don’t think our computer has the capacity to allow him to enter one that includes four weeks of his version of information by the time he completes his other current project.

The bottom picture, for those less discerning readers is Bosco at his first Billy Joel concert, where Elton John also happened to be. For two guys in their later years we were impressed at the amount of hearing loss the concert caused. It was a great time and we had a nice close parking spot. Rob can also walk you to any of the first aid stations at Nationals Stadium with a blindfold on should you need one. It was also the first event where I experienced the phenomenon of Bosco’s apparently hugely misleading size. Rob and I will go to events, conferences, stores, etc. and at least one person will say something like “we don’t want you to get too excited!” Or, “you’d better sit down so you don’t tax yourself.” Or, “you look like you’re ready to go!” Every time I tell said person my due date is actually not till November, they look at me as if I’ve made a dreadful mistake by not knowing it’s actually imminent, like tomorrow.

Last Friday’s week 24 appointment to double-check Bosco’s face went swimmingly and everything appears to be fine. Bosco did give the sonographist fits since all she needed to see was the face and he kept it alternately buried in the placenta or filled with the fist he was ardently sucking. She joked that he must think the closer he puts his face to the placenta the more food he will get, whereupon Rob naturally mentioned that that is how we know he is our baby. Side note: this is ironic as Rob is out as I type procuring Chipotle for dinner. It was especially fun to see his little jaw working up and down as he learns how to suck. Nevertheless, I apologize that the new ultrasound pictures I have posted mostly feature great shots of my outstanding placenta rather than Bosco, but we did our best.

Our trip to the OB the previous Monday also indicated that his size is good, his heart rate (149) is well within normal range, my weight gain is on track, etc. According to the ultrasound Bosco was weighing in last week at 1lb 10oz, which means that right now he is probably almost two pounds a week later. As we are in the 6th month it is his job to double in weight from the beginning of the month to the end. Rest assured I am doing my part.

As evidenced in picture number 1, where his leg is raised all the way to his chin in preparation to punt mommy's bladder, Bosco continues to practice for the Men’s Olympic Gymnastics team, a spot on the DC United, and field goal kicker for whichever NFL team is still in the running in 20 years. We’ve heard from many quarters that this means he’s going to be a bundle of energy to keep up with ex-utero and we should start marathon training now. It may also be his subtle way of working off all the spicy food mommy loves to eat. I of course maintain that it’s Bosco who wants to eat. I am merely an innocent by-eater.

The nursery continues to come together with all the actual furniture now present and accounted for except the nursing chair and the carpet. Rob is becoming a master of construction. We also put up semi-sheer white drapes in an attempt to not cook the baby the first time we put him down for a nap on a sunny day. We even have some clothes donated by friends and coworkers to go in Bosco’s drawers already. People’s generosity is overwhelming and so appreciated! And Candice, my pregnancy stylist, is single handedly keeping me from attending business meetings as a naked beach ball.

Therefore, I now have to share Candice’s favorite story of the week, entitled “How to Be Pregnant In the Federal Government.” First they inform you that they are going to have to let security know that you are pregnant. Shortly after that you get an email informing you that as a prego, you’ve been added to the list of persons with disabilities, to make sure someone comes to fetch you on the eighth floor and hoists you out of the building in an emergency. When you’ve reached about the end of the second trimester, your office administrator will send you a template of an emergency birth plan to fill out. This is to protect you from security calling an ambulance that might service a hospital in Timbuktu—rather than the one you’d like to go to that has the added benefit of allowing your doctor in—in the event that you go into labor at the office. After you fill out the hospital and doctor information and let them know you’d like to be driven in your car, to your hospital, by your friend (I’ve reassured Olivia that rather than relying on a woman in labor for directions to the hospital, we’ve preprogrammed the hospital into the car’s GPS system) instead of providing an emergency training forum for the security personnel, you are asked to disclose where you have stored “the bag.” Let it be known this is Candice’s favorite part. While you get to select what is in “the bag,” the highly recommended items are two large towels, two large garbage bags, and water. I think this is the same bag cleaners for the mob carry in their trunk in case of an emergency call. Even more entertaining than imagining what all these items could be used for—such as protecting important gov’t property or your car upholstery should your water break, is imagining what gigantic furor at the office caused these bag ingredients to be the only suggested items on the list. My favorite image of potential use is layering the bag and towel on the passenger seat of my car so that at every stop light I slide forward off my well protected seat onto the floor of the car hanging by my seatbelt. In any case, I am now prepared for major office cleanup and/or accidentally going into labor while I’m downtown.

Bosco’s next adventure will be on August 14th, in exactly two weeks, to do a Glucose tolerance test. This involves eating no carbs or sugars for the morning (we can have proteins—like a hard-boiled egg—and water). We then proceed to the dr.’s office and have our blood drawn as a baseline measurement. After the initial blood test we drink what has been described to me as orange kool-aid syrup that no one has bothered to add water to, and then take a second blood test an hour later to establish my response to the sugar rush. Apparently we are lucky in that there is a 3 hour version of this test, which I won’t have to take unless the 1 hour test isn’t satisfactory. I can’t imagine the cartwheels our normally very active baby that gets excited if I send down nothing but water will do after this introduction of a bottle of pure sugar. Then I imagine we will crash and need the rest of the afternoon to nap it off. Luckily we have scheduled this test for day off. J As usual we will keep you posted on the results.

Finally, a special “yippee!!” to Jodie as I close this week out, as she has approximately one week to go before introducing us all to a beautiful baby girl. We can’t wait to meet her!