Monday, June 8, 2009

Is This Thing On?

Wow! Wow! Wow!...thank you so much for that great applause! A warm welcome to you all, and thank you for tuning in. We’ve got a really great show for you tonight! Will Ferrell is here to talk about his new movie, “Land of the Lost”…Jeff Ament, Stone Gossard, Mike McCready, Matt Cameron and of course, Eddie Vedder better known as Pearl Jam are here to rock…so stick around!

Oh, sorry about that…I got the baby blog mixed up with my script drafts for “The Tonight Show”…But seriously, Conan is right. Although we don’t expect Will Ferrell or Pearl Jam, Jasmine and I would like to thank all of you for stopping by the blog and reading. Jasmine also reminds me that the REAL reason we’re starting the blog today is because she recently received a VERY sad email from a childhood friend (you know who you are!) wondering about the lack of our promised blog. We trust that our whimsical irreverence for things reverent and carefully crafted reverence for things irreverent will encourage you to return. On the occasions where our mad skills are NOT facilitating your return, please let us know by leaving posts of your own, unless of course said posts violate galactic order 954.1…

Initially, I thought it was important to point out that I would be using a different font then Jasmine so it would be easier for all of you to follow along at home but then I was informed that all entries will contain a signature making fonts a moot point. Then I remembered that we’re just going to keep things really simple. Jasmine’s entries will be short-winded, coherent, well-put and will be highlighted with proper punctuation, grammar and spelling. Mine will not.

In preparation for “It’s The Great Fobian Baby Blog, Charlie Brown!”, I read several blogs and thought it would be important to start with something like, “What This Blog Will And Won’t Be..” You know, a chirp like…

“This blog will NOT be a place where we can all come together as a community and grow….the 60’s called….they want their PATHOS back!”

Because at the end of the day, the pathos of the 60’s was a very beautiful thing (I’m told…) that is still missed by many people, myself included…Mom? Are you listening? I’m really, really sorry about my recent movie referral of “A Mighty Wind”. It IS hard to see the things we love roasted for purposes of entertainment. It WAS a special time. It was YOUR time. Long live folk music and down with the haters I say!

Ok, after all of those false starts I’m finally ready… make one more! I was born in 1971…..kidding, kidding……

It occurs to me that there might be many of you in our studio audience that are not up to speed on “how we got here”. So, in the fashion of Sports Center, here’s the wrap-up…brought to you by my hometown, the City of Detroit, Michigan! First in hockey, last in making cars that people want to buy…yeah, yeah ok, that Chevrolet Volt is kinda’ cool, but it’s STILL a GM product so, it won’t hold the road. And the 2010 Chevrolet Camaro? With all due respect (which means I get to say what I want now…) the state of New Jersey called…they want their car back. Seriously…

Jasmine and I were married May 20, 2000 and a good time was had by all, despite rain during the “opening laps”. But Reverend Gonia consulted with his “Boss” at “race control” and the green flag flew throughout the remainder of the day. And in 9 years, we’ve never had so much as a caution flag. Almost from the day Jasmine and I started talking over the “Interweb” with our “shoeboxes” and “copper wires” we talked about how much we enjoyed kids. After we met and spent more time together, this grew to discussions and musings of having children of own someday. At the same time, we also thought it was mutually important for us to live and grow inside the framework of married life before having our children.

A few years went by before we decided to naturally conceive our first child and then, to our exasperating surprise…NOTHING HAPPENED. And then, all of a sudden, when we were least expecting it…NOTHING HAPPENED. So, after “nothing happened” enough, Jasmine encouraged me to speak with my then current physician, Dr. Mark Paster about our infertility. When I did, he did not hesitate in recommending us to the all-world services at the Muasher Center for Infertility and IVF in nearby Fairfax, Virginia near Fairfax Hospital. Dr. Suheil Muasher is the owner, operator and rear-tire changer of the center and we could not have been in better hands.

Shockingly to us, an overwhelming number of couples experience infertility and likely always have. The difference now is, of course, that the field of medicine can in most cases do something about it. After a series of tests Dr. Muasher informed us that while all of the results looked great, he simply could not tell us why we could not conceive naturally. And again, this circumstance is also common.

But before we could be saddened about our conception prospects, Dr. Muasher slowly walked us through an EXACTING step-by-step process of how he was going to help us. In simplified form, Jasmine would (unlike Manny Ramirez of the Los Angeles Dodgers) take a series of prescribed hormones and then at the appropriate time, Dr. Muasher would perform an IUI procedure. He said he would try this cycle three times and if there was no success and we still wanted a baby (which we would), we could consider an IVF procedure.

In short, the man is a genius. Although he cautioned us about getting our expectations up, as the hormone “cocktail” might need the full three months before either taking effect or being adjusted to the proper dose, we were successful on the VERY FIRST IUI!

Fast forwarding…I am pleased to announce that we are now beginning our 18th week of pregnancy. Bosco (as we have named the baby in-utero…) is currently about 5.5 inches and 5 oz. (the weight of a chicken breast). However, I’m not sure if that’s KFC Grilled, Extra Crispy or Original Recipe. Most importantly, Bosco’s health is great as is Jasmine’s and our OB Center is hoping for a “boring pregnancy”. Oh, and that noise you hear? No, that’s not Bosco just yet. That’s Jasmine knocking on every piece of wood in the house…Bosco’s due date is currently November 14th, however there is a plus or minus of 14 days on that. As they used to say on the advertisements of certain 80’s tv shows, we’re anticipating a very special Thanksgiving and overall holiday season this year.

Some of you have asked not to be informed of Bosco’s sex in advance of arrival so, fair warning, if we are able to find out, that will likely be posted on this blog so you may want to read the archived version after Bosco arrives or get your baby news from us offline.

Current events for this week include waiting for our week 20 appointment on June 23rd where we are hoping to get a better picture of Bosco and the painting of Bosco’s nursery with critical assistance being provided by Aunts Mary K and LeAnne this weekend. As Senator Clinton would say, it indeed takes a whole village.

In closing, I would like to apologize to all of you for the delay in getting this blog started. Like Sally waiting with Linus for the Great Pumpkin, I know many of you have been anxious for the “It’s The Great Fobian Baby Blog, Charlie Brown!” to begin and now at long last, it has. The countdown’s at zero, it’s time to go racin’! Thank you for your patience, and thank you for joining our family on what will be an exciting journey. As Tiger Williams might say, “Buckle your chinstrap, rookie.”


  1. Ahhh!!! I'm sooo exciteddddd!!!

  2. Rob, when did you graduate from the Bill Simmons' School of Web Publishing? Seriously, if I printed this and brought it into the can with me my boss would have had to send a search party out.

  3. Apology accepted. Love, love, love this blog!

  4. That's why I waited till I was at home, Tony. Took me the entire episode of Deadliest Catch to get through it :)! Rob, Your attention to detail will make you a great daddy, seriously. I can't wait to read more.

  5. Well, this is what it takes to get me back to the computer; better than Click and Clack; made me laugh and cry. Hooray from Bosco9's Northwest fans! We love the parents too:)

  6. Yea! I'm so excited about your blog! Congrats again to you both!! :)

  7. Who is this about again??? Oh, yeah, Bosco. I did see something about Bosco in there, I think. Can't wait to see you guys...

  8. Bosco has my vote for coming into the world with a great advantage--a set of very cool parents.
    Way to go Jasmine and Robert!

  9. Best one yet!! Your description of Govt readiness for birth sounds like cautiousness of the 30. Hilarious. Were you to use your preparedness materials on the way to the hospital, that's exactly the way it's go. Thanks for the laugh and substantial info about the baby. Still chucklin'